How not to put a map on a kitchen table.

My kitchen table was a mess quite honestly. We willynilly painted all over it, dug scalpels into it and generally abused it's accomodating nature. In return for this maltreatment it wobbled irritatingly. Time for a makeover! I love maps and the enjoyment of them seems to be a bit of a family trait in our household so a map it was. A big map.
So, being the sort of person who just 'starts' regardless, I started at breakfast! All you need is a table and some maps, right? I had the additional aid of a boy eating cereal, a stuffed bunny and a red blood cell. That's that red thing on the table made by the eccentric and fabulous Fur will fly. All very useful.
So I cut and glued and stuck and smoothed until I had all the edges covered. Pretty good, eh? Then came the BIG map. My specially bought, paper, map all cosseted in it's protective tubing. Such a pretty map. I glued one end and stuck it to the table and then called my husband to help. He stood on the table, holding the rest of it up, whilst I tried to glue it. Remember that this IS NOT a tutorial. You cannot spread PVA with a very small brush onto a large sheet of paper being held in mid air. So I shouted at him because it was SO obviously his fault because he was JUST STANDING THERE holding the paper IN THE WRONG WAY!!!!! Spray Mount. Yes, that'll do it! The nozzle was all gummed up and shot out at an angle. So I spray-mounted my wrist and then the floor. Now I'm stomping around with my feet going 'schwrit ..schiwrit...schiwrit' brandishing an aerosol yelling at the kids to GET OUT OF THE WAY! We get the map flat on the table but most if it isn't stuck. Never mind. My husband decides he has something better to do. Damnation!
I spent a very happy few hours (alone - my family instinctively know when to KEEP OUT OF THE WAY) sticking all those lovely information bits round the edges. I love them. Ocean currents, volcanic activity, tectonic plate movements, time zones ...... I was right back in that geography lesson. And the boys are all running in to have a look an pour over the information. How warm and fuzzy I am feeling!
All done!
Then I varnish it.
It all bubbles up.
All the bits where the spray mount didn't go.
Which is most of the centre of the map.
I didn't weep
only nearly........
When it was all dry it looks terrible. Terrible. I shout again. "WILL YOU STOP TELLING ME IT'S BECAUSE THERE IS NOT ENOUGH GLUE ON IT!!!!" and "I KNOW there is NOT ENOUGH glue on it!". And other variations. So, after much discussion,we conclude that there was not enough glue on it. The only choice is to PUT more glue on it. I cut and lift up flappy sections of the map and re-glue them all. I smooth and smooth and smooth it all out over and over. Then a bit rips! GAH! I won't be defeated!! I am The Map Meister! I flap, stick and smooth for hours until IT'S DONE!!! It looks fabulous! It is still not very flat. There are lumps and bumps but I don't care - it is wonderful.
I'm starting on the chairs now.

MEET GEOCACHE BUNNY!

This is Geocache Bunny. He is a bit of an adventurer! Not all of the bunnies like to travel far from The Warren, unless going to a new home, but this one mentioned he'd like to go out and about more. So we took him Geocaching. He is sporting a new scarf, as today was a freezing but beautiful day with layers of frost everywhere and all the waterways frozen solid. He asked to be pictured with the map as he has some grand plans!
Geocaching is something that The Bunny Maker and her family got into a while ago. It is basically a treasure hunt using a handheld GPS. It is a global activity with caches all over the world wiht the hub being the Geocaching.com website. Some are easy strolls, some are underwater and require scuba diving skills! You chose the ones you want to do. If you put your postcode into the Geocache site you can see where they are in your area. Bet you didn't know there were so many so close! The best way to get a good idea of it all is to watch this little tutorial all about it.

Another great thing you can do is to find Travel Bugs within the caches. These can be any item as long as they have the metal dogtag attached with their tracking number. You register this number with the geoche website and people will move it from cache to cache logging where it has been. You can then see how far it has got and where it has been. You can evenvset targets for them; such as to be photographed at interesting places or to reach Australia. In a few weeks "Travel Bug Bunny" will be put into a new cache, started by us, and sent out to see where it goes. The Bug won't be a sock bunny mainly because it might get a bit damp and because back at The Warren none of us could bear to leave one all alone in a box, in a tree stump, out in the cold, all sad and hungry - you get the picture! So we will be using a special bunny designed for the purpose!

This is Son of The Bunny Maker Number 1 (get that hat!) - the boy who discovered his inner bunny! It is all his fault that the bunny madness has spread and I now have a bunny shop and this blog! Geocache Bunny is riding along as you can see!
He found a cache too - buried in an old tree stump. There was much excited hopping and squeaking from him as we opened it. Inside was the log book, which we signed and dated, we left a badge and took a mirror thing. Then we re-hid it and moved along to find the next one. There were four on our circular walk in total - one was on a long piece of string dangled into an old tree trunk - very hard to find and we almost gave up but got it in the end. Geocache Bunny has a lovely time and is back at The Warren telling the others all about it.

IF YOU LIVE OUTSIDE OF THE UK....

You can still buy a bunny for yourself! I know that the Folksy shop is all in pounds but from February it all goes international!! You will them be able to buy through paypal which converts all your transactions for you. Up until them if you would like a bunny simply chose the one from the shop (don't add it to the shopping cart), tell me which one and I will send you a paypal invoice. Simple!

I'm cheating ....

...with my Shopping List Saturday feature! I realised after I posted one last week that no one else had done one that week and no one had visited mine either - I usually get a few comments, you see! So .... as i've been stupidly busy this week with the boys going back to school, losing school shoes and general getting on with start of the year stuff I am re-posting it!! Cheating ....... Yes, I know!!! *berates self for a few seconds*

Woo Hoo! I'm starting off the new year organised! I'm actually getting this feature posted on time! I hope this continues.... Firstly, though, my sock bunny blog is up and running - I'm still tweaking bits here and there but essentially it is finished. No doubt I'll change the whole lot next week then. There are even a few 'bought bunnies' featured.

My Shopping List Saturday feature today will be from a seller who brought much happiness and cozy love into our home over Christmas. Etsy seller DKoss2 from Cutesy But Not Cutesy makes monsters! The fuzziest, cutest monsters I've yet to come across. I bought this one, left, for my husband (being a kinda monster-loving guy). The boys have been fighting over him for cuddles - er, the monster, that is, although they do do the same with my husband! He is really soft and has this cute, slightly self-conscious air to him. His new home is on our mantlepiece - he looks great there and we can see him all the time. I keep fluffing his fir in case he gets dusty! Hmmm - he doesn't have a fir with him as far as I can see - just a bird - so I guess I meant to type 'fur'. I thought he should have a friend so I've ordered one for him ...... What do you reckon? I'm wondering if he might be upset that another has arrived. He hasn't spoken yet - I wonder if the plane ride over traumatised him slightly. Check her shop on Etsy - there are all kinds of monsters for sale and almost all of them will make you smile!
Don't forget there are more Shopping List Saturday features listed on FancyPicnic's blog - they make it easier for you to find great things on Etsy because, lets face it, the site is pretty huge! I did quite a bit of Christmas shopping on there this year and was thrilled when one friend said "WHERE do you keep getting all these fabulous things?!"

Newsletter - and a dilemma...

The start of 2009 marks the beginning of the newsletters for Half an Acre! I've been dying to produce one for ages but didn't really know how to go about it. At last, though, I have one! I'm still working out all the 'functions' as this particular one offers all kinds of complex marketing thingumygigs. The boys are back at school now and I can concentrate without being accused of STILL being on the computer! The sign up form is in the sidebar - scroll down under all the new bunny stuff! I have two signed up already - and I know both personally so I guess they just feel sorry for me! HAHA. I've only been signed up for three days so, actually, that isn't too bad really! I haven't decided yet if i'll do one newsletter for both Half an Acre and The Warren, or two separate ones.
All this has made me wonder about 'etiquettte'. Can I email everyone who has bought from me over the last year? Telling them there is a newsletter and they can sign up if they like? Or do I have to wait for people to drip feed in from the blog and website? Anyone out there have one? Send advice please!

Bunny Tales - 0134 and 0135

Passport Numbers 0134 and 0134. These two are superior indeed! They are both made from Boden socks. Whilst high in quality they are short in the ankle so two were needed for each Bun. It does mean, though, that they have storage space in their sleeping bags for bunny things. They have both been whisked off to Deepcut, Surrey to live with two rascally girls Rebecca and Grace.

December Merry Go Round

WOOT WOOT! I'm here! I've remembered - like it's THAT hard to do something once a month - but, that is probably the very reason that I do forget! Today I'm writing my post for the blog Merry Go Round - a group of us who write once a month.
December's topical topic is ..... of course ..

How do you celebrate Christmas/holidays? What traditions do you have?

Hmmmm - how do we celebrate Christmas here at Half an Acre? er ..... *puts brain into gear*. We've not really established many traditions so far but this year I've decided that we need some. So .... we've done two cheesy Christmas jigsaws so far - 1000 pieces each - and due to the wonders of Google Images I can actually show you the one we've just finished! How much do you wish that that was the scene outside your home? We've always done jigsaws - an internal need to sort things and the lack of a tv induces such activities. I'm itchy to start another.

We always put the tree up on December 10th - which is my Father's birthday. Just seems like the right sort of time to do it. Any sooner and the tree would be a heap of needles and sad branches - any later and the kids would have exploded with anticipation. I've always decorated it up until the boys arrived but now I have to grit my teeth whilst they hang everything on the same branch. When they are all in bed I rearrange it all. This year I've invested in a load of festive DVDs which I'm going to put away again until next year after Christmas is over. Scrooge, Oliver, The Snowman, The Sound of Music - all the ones that meant 'Christmas' to me as a child. One thing I do miss, though, are films that used to be on tv when I was young - Ben Hur, Spartacus (I'm Spartacus! No, I'm Spartacus), Jesus of Nazareth - are they still on? Somewhere tucked away on an absure channel hiding behind more 'contemporary' rubbish. Now I'm talking like a true parent!

We sprinkle Reindeer food all round the garden before bed and then the stockings go on the end of the boys' beds (tonight!!!). When they wake up and wiggle their toes they can hear crunchy wrappings and see sparkly bits poking out of the top. I loved that when I was young. All the things in the stockings are wrapped to prolong the excitement. The eldest is always awake first - we then have to wake up the other two! The only kids in the country needing to be roused on Christmas morning. They stagger into our room and open the stockings on our bed. After we've staggered past the paper pile we hare downstairs to see what's under the tree. The boys then have to wait until we've made some coffee. They take turns to hand the presents out. One for each person to open at a time. I refuse to do the mad 'grab and rip' approach - it seems rude and greedy to me. We don't have a Christmas lunch - as that would mean I'm chasing the gravy round the kitchen when the others are 'doing presents'. This year we're going to my parents after lunch and we'll do the turkey thing in the evening. Boxing Day is a quiet one this year - just at 'granny's' - we'll have turkey sandwiches and flop around with the dog infront of the fire. Some year's we go to either of my brothers' families for a big get together but this year it's not working out that way - they all have their own families and sets of grannies etc to go and see. I'm ready for a quiet one. One Christmas Day I shall also raise a glass to myself (tee hee) because I've made exactly 100 online sales since I started in June of this year. I am thrilled. It's been bloomin' hard work - and I'm sure my eyesight is the worse for it.

My New Years Resolution is to stop using so many !!!s and ----s and ......s when I type, to do all my paperwork up to date ready for the next tax return, to try to get back to that size 8 I used to be (hahahahhaaaaaaaaaaa dream on girile) and get rid of that tub trug of slop which has sat in my kitchen for the last 5 weeks waiting to be made into paper - it doesn't even smell yet - I thought it would grow mould. Oh yes, and to finish The Fish - I just need a bathymetric map to cover it.

All done!

More Merry Go Round posts to read:

• Andreanna, Glamasaurus
• Agathe, Le Bar du Vent
• Charlotte, of Fancypicnic
• Lily, lilypangart
  
• Fabs, Easterya Jewellery Creations
• Marian, Florcita's Art
• Ruth, Birdland Creations
• Sara, Sara's Texture Crafts

The house looks great but the fridge is empty!

.... and failed again with my Shopping List Saturday feature - so sorry FancyPicnic! Can I have the 'it is Christmas' excuse, please?
We've been getting back to basics here in the Half an Acre household - picture right is my middle son doing the stamping for our paperchains. We started off with Christmassy stars but have graduted to hearts, dragonflies and fish. Basically the sum total of my rubber stamp collection. It's a good job we never bought that nice, new kitchen table. The other picture shows the constant state of the table - and I'm not kidding - even though I have a workroom in the house things usually graduate to the kitchen. My eldest son had to make a working toy with a CAM mechanism for school and most of that heap on the table is balsa wood and paper instructions, tools and dust. All mixed in with some very safe scalpels, sharp bits and lethal glue. I like to expose the kids to an element of danger during tea - alert the services - sloppy mother alert! The kiddies are in their usuall postition - squashed at one end trying to eat something cobbled together - no wonder they are all so skinny! Certain things have priority in our house - 'making a wooden toy and christmas paper chains' takes the lead over 'food shopping' - therefore our house looks great but we are all starving! When my husband came home 'famished' and opened the fridge to see er ... nothing .... I quickly wafted him into the hallway "LOOK! the boys made paperchains!" as if that would go some way to easing his hunger. Sometimes I use the "Look! I hoovered" approach as though this quickly de-crumbing explains my inability to get in the car and go to Sainsbuys. I hate food shopping almost as much as I hate selotape. But selotape hates me more than the food shopping hates me. I am so sick of getting it suck in my hair, stuck to bits it shouldn't be and then looking all unprofessional that I've come to realise I am in need of a bulk order of jiffy bags. Having used up all my recycled ones I'm onto the 'traditional brownpaper looks nice idea - but it needs too much selotape. I hate selotape almost as much as I hate coathangers ... but don't get me started on them!

Waffle, waffle, waffle... and not the Belgian kind...

Gah! I've missed my Shopping List Saturday feature by a day AGAIN!!!!! Obviously Sunday is the new Saturday. Or, obviously, it isn't as you will see that there is no feature in this post!

It's been an eventful and expensive week. On Thursday I, and the three boys, hit a big, hard, bumpy thing on the road and destroyed the tyre on my car. Luckily a friend could come and pick the boys up as I then sat, freezing my butt off in the ditch the 2 1/2 hours waiting for the AA man to come. Yes! I will say it again! Two and a half long, freezing hours in the dark on a busy, busy road felling all female and on my ownsome! My car carries no spare tyre as the space is compromised by the back seats which lay down flat into the space it would have taken up. So, I needed to be towed. AND ... AND.... I broke down in the only spot on the road where there is next to no mobile reception. I could only just call the AA - four tries it took. Then I could only sporadically text a friend to get them to chase the AA up. When the AA man arrived he said he'd only got the call 20 mins prior!!! NOT HAPPY WITH THE AA! The man, by the way, was fantastic - just like the adverts!

I've done my last sale event for the year - it was disasterous! Only 7 people came in through the door! But I did sell six sock bunnies. The bunnies have been keeping me going over the last few weeks big time! Something about them is deeply appealing to everyone ...... Do you need one? You can find them all here at The Warren on Folksy. Folksy has really come up trumps over the last two weeks - I've had 9 sales now - two of them today and the same item but in different colours. I've even had three sales through my ill-fated website. If I knew then what I do now I wouldn't have paid out all that money for the site - which, incidentally, I am still paying off. I hadn't discovered all these Etsy, Folksy things back then and everyone kept saying those haunting words "Do you have a website?".
I'm thinking that this might be my last post before Christmas - I kinda want to have a break and just make paperchains with the boys ..... but, we shall see ...... I'll have more time now the events are all done and dusted.
Actually - i've got an idea .. okay, this isn't my last post ........

Something's wrong with the world today .....

On Saturday my cousin's wife, aged 39, was unexpectedly rushed into hospital. She died 4 hours later from a suspected virus. She is a mother to one year old twins.
There are no words.

This post is dedicated to them ...... my heart goes out to them all.

Thank you MidnightOrange