Beware the Butt-slap Elf.......

As promised........... but first I must answer a few questions! Yes, Florcita, the soup bowl did make it to the dishwasher. Chukka Stone, you may laugh but labels are next! Lemonshortbread, thank you for the ebay tip - I'm absolutely going to get some more! I've had a lovely amount of comments on here and I'd like to say 'Thank you' and 'I'm glad I've made you chuckle'.
Now ... the Butt-slap elf. Indeed. He's not alone. We also have the dishwasher elves. It's my fault. I married the man responsible. The Butt-slap elf is an irritating fellow. You'll be quite innocently washing-up, going up the stairs, simply walking along and he'll get you ....... slap! slap! slap! right on the butt! You'll turn round ... nothing there ..... except my husband. "Did you see him?!!!" he exclaims, "The Butt-slap Elf, did you see him?". *SIGH*.
The Dishwasher Elves are less annoying, even helpful. They live, obviously, in the dishwasher. "How do you know?", I asked my husband. My husband raises his eyes to the heavens, "How else do the dishes get clean?". "What do they look like?", I ask. "How on earth do I know!", he replies, "when you open the door they vanish, that's what all the steam is. They don't want you to see them. All the steam is made of little bits of elf ". "Do they wear little hats?", I ask. "Don't be ridiculous, that would be silly", he says. *SIGH*.
UPDATE: as with the crabbing I've just been told that once again I am technically INCORRECT. Pah! My husband says that you should NEVER open the door mid-cycle because the light vapourizes the elves - hence the steam. More have to then run up the pipes to carry on the cleaning. Also, now he tells me that there is a BIG pipe that runs under the sea to the Isle of Wight - otherwise how would the elves get there. GIVE ME STRENGTH.

The other day I was feeding money in to the parking ticket machine, busily explaining to my nine year old about how the goblins inside took the payment which lead onto how the Postage Elves get the mail overseas when the lady behind said "You should write a book ......". I don't understand this. I was just explaining how things are.
We live with elves, goblins and other little people .... we have no television ..... our imaginations are in over-drive..
On more mundane levels, I listed this itsy-bitsy ACEO in my Etsy shop today. It's called "Two Hearts" and is a pencil drawing with watercolours. I really like this theme for ACEOs as they are just right for framing and giving to someone you love. It'll need a wide old mount though so you are drawn into the picture. There is something so appealing about the shape of a heart and they are infinately variable. I've got quite a few hearts going on at the moment. I'm trying to put another picture in here but it keeps getting moved down with the text! All the pictures here are on by trial and error! I can't work out how to get them in the correct places half the time. Any tips would be much appreciated. I'll try again. ARGGHGHG! What am I doing wrong? Let's go again....... I can't get the text next to the picture! Look at all that space to fill! Can anyone help?...... any elves out there?

I've had to put the picture in the middle now! Although Florcita did offer me some help - I'm over-tired tonight and can't work stuff out as easily. I've had a question from her - "What about gnomes?". I asked my husband and he replied "Gnomes? Don't be silly, they don't exist". OKAAAAAAAAAAY.
Great hearts, aren't they? Just right for a girl's bedroom wall. Or ditch that idea and have them in your kitchen like the first picture. Not my kitchen, but a friends. Great kitchen! I'll get them into my Etsy shop soon - click on the pics if you are in the UK as they are available from Not On The High Street.com. Back soon!