Welcome to my blog. I am 'The Bunny Maker' - aka Anna, confuzzled mother of three boys, maker of sock bunnies for Widget and Friends, owner of The Warren Bunny Boarding and artist behind Half an Acre. Come on in and join the madness!

Monday, 12 January 2009

How not to put a map on a kitchen table.

My kitchen table was a mess quite honestly. We willynilly painted all over it, dug scalpels into it and generally abused it's accomodating nature. In return for this maltreatment it wobbled irritatingly. Time for a makeover! I love maps and the enjoyment of them seems to be a bit of a family trait in our household so a map it was. A big map.
So, being the sort of person who just 'starts' regardless, I started at breakfast! All you need is a table and some maps, right? I had the additional aid of a boy eating cereal, a stuffed bunny and a red blood cell. That's that red thing on the table made by the eccentric and fabulous Fur will fly. All very useful.
So I cut and glued and stuck and smoothed until I had all the edges covered. Pretty good, eh? Then came the BIG map. My specially bought, paper, map all cosseted in it's protective tubing. Such a pretty map. I glued one end and stuck it to the table and then called my husband to help. He stood on the table, holding the rest of it up, whilst I tried to glue it. Remember that this IS NOT a tutorial. You cannot spread PVA with a very small brush onto a large sheet of paper being held in mid air. So I shouted at him because it was SO obviously his fault because he was JUST STANDING THERE holding the paper IN THE WRONG WAY!!!!! Spray Mount. Yes, that'll do it! The nozzle was all gummed up and shot out at an angle. So I spray-mounted my wrist and then the floor. Now I'm stomping around with my feet going 'schwrit ..schiwrit...schiwrit' brandishing an aerosol yelling at the kids to GET OUT OF THE WAY! We get the map flat on the table but most if it isn't stuck. Never mind. My husband decides he has something better to do. Damnation!
I spent a very happy few hours (alone - my family instinctively know when to KEEP OUT OF THE WAY) sticking all those lovely information bits round the edges. I love them. Ocean currents, volcanic activity, tectonic plate movements, time zones ...... I was right back in that geography lesson. And the boys are all running in to have a look an pour over the information. How warm and fuzzy I am feeling!
All done!
Then I varnish it.
It all bubbles up.
All the bits where the spray mount didn't go.
Which is most of the centre of the map.
I didn't weep
only nearly........
When it was all dry it looks terrible. Terrible. I shout again. "WILL YOU STOP TELLING ME IT'S BECAUSE THERE IS NOT ENOUGH GLUE ON IT!!!!" and "I KNOW there is NOT ENOUGH glue on it!". And other variations. So, after much discussion,we conclude that there was not enough glue on it. The only choice is to PUT more glue on it. I cut and lift up flappy sections of the map and re-glue them all. I smooth and smooth and smooth it all out over and over. Then a bit rips! GAH! I won't be defeated!! I am The Map Meister! I flap, stick and smooth for hours until IT'S DONE!!! It looks fabulous! It is still not very flat. There are lumps and bumps but I don't care - it is wonderful.
I'm starting on the chairs now.


  1. Wow!

    ...could you maybe tell youself that the bumps were land contours maybe...!

  2. God! It looks fantastic!! I totally agree about 'just doing things'. Don't plan just get stuck in and see what happens.

  3. Well, I dont think you need to worry too much about the lumps and bumps - it looks amazing! What a great idea!

  4. ..not sure the last comment you left on my blog was for me...!

  5. It looks wonderful and if you hadn't have told us, then we wouldn't have noticed!

    Have you met Bombus? She was on a table next to you at WeMake. She glues maps to tables and things - ask her advice!

  6. Hi, just come and had a read of the Great Map table via Folksy chit chatter! My goodness you were patient - and well worth it. It looks amazing and I bet a great conversation table. WELL DONE!

  7. Ooh you could put Envirotex over the top to secure it down and make it all shiny good :)

  8. excellent! thank you so much! i was wondering what to put over it and opted for plain old DIY satin varnish!
    i reckon the map will have to come off and be done all over again in about 6 months - remember this is the table that feeds 3 boys plus their friends - large water spillage this evening - who knows what else!!

  9. It looks completely brilliant - and that is one of the absolute best blog posts ever! I have been laughing and laughing - I totally know how much a husband can ruin a craft project by just standing in the room the wrong way!

  10. what an excellent idea!
    a good way to learn your cities over the breakfast cereal.

  11. Oh my goodness, I am sitting here laughing my head off because I would soo do all of that; starting at breakfast, shouting at husband for not instinctivly knowing what I wanted him to do, etc but that table looks fab!!! Now I'm wondering what I could stick maps too.....

  12. You really are my type of woman ;-)

    Oops, just realised in time that could be misinterpreted - what I meant to say ws that's just how I go about things too, get stuck straight in!

  13. Very funny, i had a good laugh at you, it looks great, well done, but I'd leave the chairs alone!

  14. thats bloody hilarious I loved reading that...I am just like you...you get a whiff of an idea and your away...pure genius!!!!!! thanks for making my day!

  15. thats bloody hilarious I loved reading that...I am just like you...you get a whiff of an idea and your away...pure genius!!!!!! thanks for making my day!